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We are continuing our focus this week on bringing the ha ha and the hope. Here are some great one liners from a few of my favorite comedians. I hope you get a chuckle or two.
"A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'" - Conan O'Brien
"Love is a full-length mirror." - Stephen Colbert
"If I'd only followed CNBC's advice, I'd have a million dollars today. Provided I'd started with a hundred million dollars." - Jon Stewart
"I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks." - Steve Martin
"Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV." - Jerry Seinfeld
"The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen?" - Dennis Miller
"If you're frightened of leprechauns, the best thing to do is to get yourself a little leprechaun outfit and see how big they are. And then you'll go, 'well I see. That's like bein' frightened of a hampster.'" - Craig Ferguson
"Nasa has developed a urine machine that will convert urine into water. Well, guess what? It's on the blink. And you thought the coffee was bad where you work." - David Letterman
"Sincerity is everything. If you can fake that, you've got it made." - George Burns
I'm so ugly, when I was born the doctor slapped my mother.I'm so ugly, my father carried around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet.I'm so ugly, my kids flip a coin to see who has to kiss me goodnight.
My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him, "If you don't mind, I'd like a second opinion." He said, "All right. You're ugly too!"
When I was born, the doctor came into the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm sorry. We did everything we could, but he pulled through."
My wife cooks so bad, the flies chipped in to fix the hole in the screen door.My wife cooks so bad, we pray after we eat.With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff."It's been a rough day. I got up this morning ... put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.One day I came home and saw a guy jogging naked, I said "Hey buddy why are you doing that", he said "cause you came home early".
We're closing out the month at Bring The Hope with a few more laughs. Included at the end of this post is a link to the world famous treadmill video from OK Go. You've gotta watch this baby all the way through. It's funny, creative and just goofy enough to make you smile.
We love OK Go for their playful optimism. And we dig how they give back when they're on tour. The guys recently partnered with the Inspiration Corporation and other volunteers to "hand out burritos to homeless people in Chicago." Then, they went on to rock the Double Door. That's the kind of stuff that brings the hope.
Cheers to OK Go. Click here to see their whacky music video. And be sure to enjoy this short work week.
Yep, you read the headline right. Now, it's time for you to admit it. Say it along with me now..."farts are funny."
Laughter is so important in our lives. So, I'm hoping that you can think of several times in recent days or weeks when you've allowed yourself to laugh uncontrollable at something. You know, the kind of laugh where you start tearing up and your sides end up hurting. That's what I'm talking about.
It's the holiday weekend. So, make it a point to laugh out loud at least once over the next few days. I found this video last night and after watching it a few times, we were all yucking it up at our house. Watch the lady try to compose herself to speak to the City Council after someone rips one. Maybe this isn't your bag, but it cracked me up.
I like the way Nyura T. put it when she said, "I am convinced that the universal urge to laugh at farts will unite the world." Crazier things have happened.
Enjoy the weekend.
May is National Military Appreciation Month. That means it's time to let our soldiers and their families know how much we appreciate their service and sacrifice. As we approach the Memorial Day weekend, it seems like time well spent to think about how we can say thanks. Here are a few ideas from the folks who manage the military appreciation efforts:
1) Fly the flag on your house, car or place of business.
2) Send a care package to a soldier through the USO.
3) Send an email or letter of thanks through Thanks a Million
4) When you see a person in uniform, shake their hand and say, "thank you for serving our country."
We'll add one more idea to the list from Bring The Hope. We've been admiring the good work going on at the Folds of Honor Foundation. Check them out and consider donating to help them fund college scholarships for the children of our fallen heroes.
"We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by." - Will Rogers
"A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself." - Joseph Campbell
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Cool story out of Vienna. According to Agence France Presse, "an Austrian businessman is raffling off his luxury 3,500 square-foot home, that is valued at $2.6 million, and will use the proceeds to help fund microcredits in the Third World."
The businessman plans to sell nearly 22,000 lottery tickets at 99 euros each. According to AFP, he said, "for a long time I believed that more wealth and luxury automatically meant more happiness. Now it's time to sell my house, so I can be 'free' for my new life."
Cheers to this giver and best wishes for that new life of his.
"If you wish to experience peace, provide peace for another." Dalai Lama
"If you have much, give of your wealth; If you have little, give of your heart." - Arab Proverb
According to The New York Times, "Frank
You might know Capra's work from one of the three Oscar-winning films that he directed: "It Happened One Night", "Mr. Deeds Goes to Town," and "You Can't Take it With You." But, the odds are pretty good that you know Capra best from what he once cited as his favorite film: "It's a Wonderful Life."
I love that film and it really seems to embody the hopeful and optimistic approach Capra brought to his life and his work. Capra's NYT obituary from Sept. 4, 1991, said that his "...movies were idealistic, sentimental and patriotic." The obit goes on to say that Capra once wrote about his view on life saying, "I always felt the world cannot fall apart as long as free men see the rainbow, feel the rain and hear the laugh of a child."
Some criticized Capra as being naive and too sentimental. But, I'm glad that he stuck to his guns. Looking on the bright side doesn't equate to being naive or out of touch about what's happening in the world around you. It just means that you choose to focus on the positive aspects of life. Cheers to Capra for showing us the way.
New stuff is good. Cool stuff is better. We've got both with a new round of hope tees from our April contest winners. Check 'em out and if you like what you see, consider going to Bring The Hope and buying a tee or two for the summer. Twenty five percent of net profits will go to our winners and their favorite charities.
You can also get in on our May contest by submitting your own messages of hope, optimism and humor. Or, you can vote on submissions from others. It's easy, it's fun and it could bring you the hope and the $$$.
Here's what our April winners turned out:
Danielle Turnbull's winning phrase is: "Believe in Something Bigger Than Yourself." We dig the saying and the funky character on the back of Dani's tee is pretty cool too. Dani will help support Stand True with proceeds from her shirt.
Kirsten DeHaai's winning phrase is: "Just One Smile is Enough to Fill an Empty Heart." That's true and the playful design on this tee is sure to put a smile on your face. Kirsten is supporting the Bone Marrow Foundation in honor of her friend, Derek, who was diagnosed with Leukemia in 2006.
Nancy Stillings won with the phrase: "If Your Heart is True, Your Mouth Never Lies." Nancy's inspired message looks great on her tee and a portion of the proceeds will go to support the March of Dimes in memory of Gabrielle Leann Pritchard.
Cheers to our April winners. We think that you're all great. The May message contest is currently underway. Check it out when you can and have a great weekend.
"The real winners in life are the people who look at every situation with an expectation that they can make it work or make it better." - Barbara Pletcher
"The most distinguishing feature of winners is their intensity of purpose." - Alymer Letterman
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